I’m not even sure if it’s considered funny that, unconsciously, I have been remembering a person I had a hard time get over with – for 3 consecutive nights. HAHAHA, okay I will laugh at this now. I got over the grieving part today. And here’s what really happened.
The first two nights, I remembered the person for no apparent reason. And yesterday, I bumped into the person’s sister. And we joked around and all and I won’t try to exert effort on explaining because I just don’t think there’s any point here.
Then here it goes, I’m sorry for being such a bad writer. It’s just that, I needed to let this out and if I made it as long as I usualyy write, by the time I’m done with a sentence, I probably forgot what else I’m going to say.
Last night, I thought about the person. About what we could be now had I not given up. Had I not forced myself to move on. And I remembered some of the good moments, but that didn’t make me sad.
I guess what hit me talaga is what happened then. What I fear now.
How many times do we have to be left behind before we find someone who won’t leave?
That was probably the thought that stabbed my whole body and kept me dead for how many hours. (And a bit of current situations). Why do people who love so much get left?
Point is, I didn’t cry because of the person. I didn’t cry because I remembered the good and bad times we’ve had.
I felt bad, my emotions were heavy, and I cried because I realized that being left behind is something I’m never ready for. Not that “ready,” just… uh. I mean, Getting left behind isn’t something I’ll be able to take again.
Gusto ko ipaglaban na hindi ko sya namimiss. Namamaga kasi yung mata ko kanina. Baka isipin ng iba, namimiss ko sya. Hindi. Hindi sya. Hindi yung mga pinagdaanan namin. (By “sya” I mean the past).
Natatakot lang talaga ako. Nagtataka, nagtatanong, pero walang magawa, kasi wala rin namang makakasagot.
But thanks to one of the best friends I’ve ever had, (who turns out to be the person who passed by my window just when I was closing my doors), I calmed down. He made me listen to a song that, well, really did fit.
I just want us to be happy. And we will.
It’s funny how at the end of this post, you’re still.. you know. >:)<
Yunlang. Sorryifididntmakesense. I probably never do. Jk. Nighties.