Normally, I’d write this on Tumblr. But for some odd reason, it wouldn’t publish.
It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel bad sometimes. It’s okay to believe that nothing will ever go your way. It’s okay to feel like you’re never going to trust anyone again. It’s okay to never believe people’s promises anymore?
But then, with all your negations to what there is, will you ever forget how much you loved him? What I said probably doesn’t make sense. But that’s what my life is exactly right now, nonsense. I couldn’t find the right words anymore. I couldn’t find the tune, the notes, the chords.
Who would believe that everything would just fall apart like that? When you least expected it to. When you expect that he’d apologize because he didn’t mean to do that. He didn’t know you felt that way. But then, it just happens. You get to know the truth. That it was meant to happen. That it was his plan.
And your heart shatters into pieces.
And you try to control your tears but you couldn’t.
Because you always believed that he’d never leave you. That he’d never go away.
Then you will fear to trust. You will be afraid of believing promises.
You will give up on yourself. Then remember that he also did. That he gave up on you. hat of all people, you thought he never will.
It wouldn’t be a problem anyway if he learned. If he taught himself.
Let me, for once, blame him.
And now I’m done.
It’s like, nothing will ever be okay anymore.
Maybe you’ll forget how happiness feels like.
Maybe he did this for you.
But that, you will never understand.
Because you know deep inside you that you never want to lose him.
That it’s still him you want to spend everyday with.
That it’s him you still want to rant to, the one you want to hold on to.
the one you’d trust your whole life with.
Trust, not spend.
One day, you’re going to accept the fact that .. well you know.
But not now.
And it’s okay.
Cry your heart out, my dear.
Cry your heart out.
Ask him to be with you as you cry. Not so you can blame him. But just because you trust him. You believe that he never will give up on you.
Ask him to ask you for space.
Say you’d be willing to give space.
Just so he won’t leave you.
The way he already is.