Monthly Archives: July 2013

I told myself I’d be sleeping naaooo. but no, here I am, listening to Clarity, and realizing that it’s okay to be like this. To actually love someone who loves you back but then it’s not equal. Because that’s how love’s supposed to be like. Dangerous, risky, all or nothing. And this is it. And he’s just that clarity someone looks for and finds as if it were home. 

I love you, Monster. And this is just so random. ❤

Getting Your Heart Broken Isn't So Bad

Thought Catalog

If you’re a recent victim of heartbreak (by “heartbreak” I mean, someone left/ betrayed/ dehumanized you and by “recent” I mean, in the past six months-decade because let’s be real, some breakups know no time constraints) you might feel certain about a few things. For example — that getting your heart broken is actually ‘that bad,’ that all of the weight loss and meaningless sex and self-indulgence in the world isn’t going to make things right, and most importantly, that I must have no goddamn idea what I’m talking about if I think otherwise. And you’d be right — until you aren’t.

What I mean is, you’re perfectly justified in thinking that you’re never going to be able to love anyone else, and that this is the worst thing that will ever happen to you. For now. Because for now, you’re thinking — and feeling — with the wounded, disillusioned…

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Yesterday was an emotional rollercoaster ride. Early morning I was excited kase sinundo namin yung internationsal YTs sa airport. So yay! Tas bond bond. Then felt a bit sad nung nasa lib. Okay yes. Tas the insec feels. Tas class. All the love and all and all. Tas bothered kase you know. Jokes can be funny and painful at ze same time, congratulations. Tas happy nung gabi kase I was in church. hihi. Tas sad and tired when I got home. And all I thought was John Mayer singing Dreaming with A askjhdkjasd Heart~ Okay byeee. 

I’m afraid today’s going to be a roller coaster, too. 

I made mashed potatoes. And something’s wrong with them. They’re all sloppy and nakakaumay and all the sad things you can say about potatoes. Something’s wrong. And while I’m typing this, it’s All Too Well that’s playing. And it’s a Wednesday. I just feel like there’s something wrong. And I hate myself for that.

The feeling was like wanting to break down everyday. And wanting them to run from different places to embrace me and all my anger, pain, and sadness. But of course, that won’t happen. Because we’re far from each other, and we’re all busy. Majors are in, extra-curriculars, family affairs, everything. Time is in between the fun and the “now.” And I can’t do anything about it. No matter how much I want to go back to those days when we’d eat on the floor, stay at someone’s house, sing our lungs out, noooo, we’ve grown now.

And maybe this is the sad thing about me. I can’t move on easily.

Or maybe I just miss them.

So much that it actually hurts.

I’ve got a lot of friends, and I’m really happy with them, yanow. And that includes him.

But maybe, we still need the people who helped us be who we are now.

The only people who’ve seen me cry like a monster and still buy me ice cream and chuckie to feel a bit better.

Maybe I just need to cry my heart out. And I choose not to do it to anyone else.

I miss you, Kuf. I really do.

I want to cry right now just because I have been procrastinating, and because of these heavy thoughts of me being ugly and not pretty enough and i cannot find the words to describe how awful i feel i’m sorry 

My back hurts

I’ve been in front of the laptop trying to decipher everything I need to do from Area 101 to Anthro1. I’ve been multi-tasking, and have been online on Facebook but not for leisure believe me. I have been chatting with my blockmates because I do not understand what the instructions are. And apparently, it looks like I’ve wasted more than half of the 12 hours I spend awake just because I did not get what to do for the arrangements. I’m writing like a loser because I don’t have any plans anymore. I feel like drowning and not going to class tomorrow just because I haven’t been paying attention. What am I saying. 

I need a break. I want to sleep. Because I feel like this whole week’s loaded with acad stuff. And I feel like veering away from my objective, that’s what my mother tells me. HAHA. Anywaaayy, i’m now serious. I still have to do this arrangement thing AND ADD MEANING TO IT for Area Studies 101. I have to read a bit of Math  because I am not sure if my dear professor will surprise us for a quiz tomorrow. i feel like sleeping because I have PE tomorrow. I have to read Histo4 readings and notes because I have an exam on Tuesday, and I have to read PolSci because I have a report on Tuesday also. Can I please jump off a cliff 2ft high now? PLUS I AM PRESSURED WITH THE FACT THAT I HAVE TO WATCH SONA TOMORROW FOR POLSCI AND ANTHROOOO. 

And nooow I’m playing Kpop to ease the chills I feel. I’m literally panicking naaaaaa. Hahaha bye please. HUHUHUHUU please hope i’m still breathing tomorrow bye

WISDOM 101: Ang maghintay sa taong hindi ka kayang mahalin ay katumbas ng paghihintay mong tumamis ang asin.

Ang funny, pambungad saken ‘to pag bukas ko ng FB kanina, status ng dati kong prof. Omg. Haha. #Feels