Today’s Lemon-Butter Sauce

It’s Manila Day. 

I got the wrong intro. I mean, 


Okay. So we have no classes. Parents are here as well. And I hate the fact that Kuya studies in Makati, so he has class. I’m sad. I really am. I don’t know why. Because it occurred to me that weekends are just normal days. But when a day’s a holiday, I prefer to be with the family. It’s weird, nonsense even, but I don’t know. It’s what I feel. 

Anyway, I helped Mom cook fish fillet today. I wanted steamed. I really did, because when we eat house-fish-fillet, which I am so sorry Mother to say this, I never liked, it was always fried. This time, she did both. And both were salty. Very funny. 

Here’s the “I-learned-something-from-home-today” part. Mom asked me to squeeze two lemons for the lemon-butter sauce. And I did. Though I really wanted one lemon to be mine. So I can make lemonade. I was serious. But I shook it off, thinking that she might rant when I ask her for just a lemon. I squeezed the first lemon, and its scent was relieving. It was so citrus-y. And I loved it. I set it aside, with the hopes of eating it as it is later, as I do with calamansi. I squeezed the second lemon until there was no more juice inside. But I wasn’t contented. I had a feeling that somewhere deep inside that big fat lemon was more juice. Clapped my hands with the lemon in between, squeezed hard, and it slipped out of my palms. My hands crashed at each other’s palms (which for now, I would like to call faces), and the lemon was there, dirty. I forced it too much. I used too much energy. I thought I was that strong. Surprise, I wasn’t. I’m not. 

Not my point, though. Wag nang pigain, kung wala naman ding mapipiga.

I’m such a loser. I know this is a far cry from the story, but, yes. Hello. If there are any of you who feels like I do today, congratulations. Welcome to the club. And if there is none of you, be glad. You are a happy person. Yes, you are. Compared to what I am behind the curve on my face, you are happy.

PS. There was too much lemon in the sauce. It was so sour. We didn’t even get to use it and dip the fillet in it. Isn’t life just so nice? You’re always wrong. You will always be wrong, life says. Unless you can cope up with whatever shit there is, then there’s a 51% probability that one day, you will be right.


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